百科游戏 手游攻略
大家好，今天给各位分享英语幽默哲理小故事的一些知识，其中也会对英语幽默哲理小故事大全进行解释，文章篇幅可能偏长，如果能碰巧解决你现在面临的问题，别忘了关注本站，现在就马上开始吧！
富有哲理幽默英语小故事带翻译
英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下：
MidwayTactics
Threepetingstoreownersrentedadjoiningshopsinamall.Observerswaitedformayhemtoensue.
Theretailerontherightputuphugesignssaying,"GiganticSale!"and"SuperBargains!"
Thestoreontheleftraisedbiggersignsproclaiming,"PricesSlashed!"and"FantasticDiscounts!"
Theownerinthemiddlethenpreparedalargesignthatsimplystated,"ENTRANCE".
中间战术
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”
左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
VeryPleasedtoMeetYou
DuringWorldWarII,alotofyoungwomeninBritainwereinthearmy.JoanPhillipswasoneofthem.Sheworkedinabigcamp,andofcoursemetalotofmen,officersandsoldiers.
OneeveningshemetCaptainHumphreysatadance.Hesaidtoher,"I‘mgoingabroadtomorrow,butI‘dbeveryhappyifwecouldwritetoeachother."Joanagreed,andtheywroteforseveralmonths.
Thenhislettersstopped,butshereceivedonefromanotherofficer,tellingherthathehadbeenwoundedandwasinacertainarmyhospitalinEngland.
Joanwentthereandsaidtothematron,"I‘veetovisitCaptainHumphreys."
"Onlyrelativesareallowedtovisitpatientshere,"thematronsaid.
"Oh,that‘sallright,"answeredJoan."I‘mhissister."
"I‘mverypleasedtomeetyou,"thematronsaid,"I‘mhismother!"
在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。
后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。
琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。”
“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。
“噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。”
“很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。”
TwoSoldiers
Twosoldierswereincamp.Thefirstone‘snamewasGee,andthesecondone‘snamewasBill.Geesaid,"haveyougotapieceofpaperandanenvelope,Bill?"
Billsaid,"Yes,Ihave,"andhegavethemtohim.
ThenGeesaid,"NowIhaven‘tgotapen."Billgavehimhis,andGeewrotehisletter.Thenheputitintheenvelopeandsaid,"haveyougotastamp,Bill?"Billgavehimone.
ThenBillgotupandwenttothedoor,soGeesaidtohim,"Areyougoingout?"
BillSaid,"Yes,Iam,"andheopenedthedoor.
Geesaid,"Pleaseputmyletterintheboxintheoffice,and..."Hestopped.
"Whatdoyouwantnow?"Billsaidtohim.
Geelookedattheenvelopeofhisletterandanswered,"What‘syourgirl-friend‘saddress?"
军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?”
比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。
乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。
这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?”
比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。
乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。
“你还要什么?”比尔问。
乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?”
求英文幽默或哲理小故事
Letmetakeitdown
Anelephantsaidtoamouse,"nodoubtthatyouarethesmallestzndmostuselessthingthatIhaveeverseen."
"Pless,sayitagain.Letmetakeitdown."themousesaid."IwilltellafleawhatIknow."
为我所用
一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”
“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。
Anoldsoldieroftentoldhisgardenabouthispastwarexploits.
"OnceImetwithadozenenemysol-diersandtookthemprisonerssinglehand-ed."
"Itwashalfadozenenemysoldierswhenyoutoldmethestorylastyear.Butwhyhaveyouaddedsomanymorethistime?"
"Yousillylad.Youwereyoungerlastyear,andIwasafraidtofrightenyou."
Whilewisitingthecemetery,asorrowfulcouplenoticedaheadstone,whichread,"hereliesalawyerandahonestnan"."lookatthat",thewomansaid,"money'ssotightthey'reputtingthentwoinagrave."
LawyerJokes:
Amanvisitingagraveyardsawatombstonethatread,"HereliesJohnKelly,alawyerandanhonestman.""Howaboutthat!"heexclaimed."They'vegotthreepeopleburiedinonegrave."
__________________________________
ThesearefromabookcalledDisorderintheCourt,andare
thingspeopleactuallysaidincourt,wordforword,takendownand
nowpublishedby
courtreporters-whohadthetormentofstayingcalmwhile
theseexchangeswereactuallytakingplace.
__________________________________
Q:Whatisyourdateofbirth?
A:July15th.
Q:Whatyear?
A:Everyyear.
Q:Howoldisyourson,theonelivingwithyou?
A:Thirty-eightorthirty-five,Ican'trememberwhich.
Q:Howlonghashelivedwithyou?
A:Forty-fiveyears.
_________________________________
Q:Whatwasthefirstthingyourhusbandsaidtoyouwhenhe
wokeupthatmorning?
A:Hesaid,"WhereamI,Cathy?"
Q:Andwhydidthatupsetyou?
A:MynameisSusan.
_________________________________
Q:Howwasyourfirstmarriageterminated?
A:Bydeath.
__________________________________
Q:Isyourappearanceherethismorningpursuanttoa
depositionnoticewhichIsenttoyourattorney?
A:No,thisishowIdresswhenIgotowork.
__________________________________
Q:Doctor,beforeyouperformedtheautopsy,didyoucheckfor
apulse?
A:No.
Q:Didyoucheckforbloodpressure?
A:No.
Q:Didyoucheckforbreathing?
A:No.
Q:So,thenitispossiblethatthepatientwasalivewhenyou
begantheautopsy?
A:No.
Q:Howcanyoubesosure,Doctor?
A:Becausehisbrainwassittingonmydeskinajar.
Q:Butcouldthepatienthavestillbeenalive,nevertheless?
A:Yes,itispossiblethathecouldhavebeenaliveandpracticinglaw.
A:Nicetomeetyou.
B:Nicetomeetyou,too.
C:Nicetomeetyou,three.
AnArtist
Anartistaskedthegalleryowneriftherehadbeenanyinterestinhispaintingsondisplayatthattime.
"Ihavegoodnewsandbadnews,"theownerreplied."Thegoodnewsisthatagentlemanenquiredaboutyourworkand
wonderedifitwouldappreciateinvalueafteryourdeath.WhenItoldhimitwould,heboughtall15ofyourpaintings."
"That'swonderful,"theartistexclaimed."What'sthebadnews?"
Anoldsoldieroftentoldhisgardenabouthispastwarexploits.
"OnceImetwithadozenenemysol-diersandtookthemprisonerssinglehand-ed."
"Itwashalfadozenenemysoldierswhenyoutoldmethestorylastyear.Butwhyhaveyouaddedsomanymorethistime?"
"Yousillylad.Youwereyoungerlastyear,andIwasafraidtofrightenyou
BUYINGAHAT
Aladywenttoahatshoptobuyahat.Asshewasveryfussy,ittookheralongtimetopickonone.Alreadyattheendofhispatiencethesalesmanwasafraidthatshemightchangehermindagainsohetriedtoflatterher:"Anexcellentchoice,madam.Youlookatleasttenyearsyoungerwiththishaton!"Tohisdismay,theladytookoffherhatatonceandsaid:"Idon'twantahatthatmakesmelooktenyearsolderassoonasItakeitoff.Showmesomemorehats!"
I'MNOTHAVINGITALLCUTOFF.
Milessometimewenttothebarber'sduringworkinghourstohavehishaircut.Butthiswasagainsttheofficerules:clerkshadtohavetheirhaircutintheirowntime.WhileMileswasatthebarber'soneday,themanageroftheofficecameinbychancetohavehisownhaircutandsatjustbesidehim.
"Hello,Miles,"themanagersaid."Iseethatyouarehavingyourhaircutinofficetime."
"Yes,sir,Iam,"admittedMilescalmly."Yousee,sir,itgrowsinofficetime."
"Notallofit,"saidthemanageratonce."Someofitgrowsinyourowntime."
"Yes,sir,that'squitetrue."AnsweredMilespolitely,"butI'mnothavingitallcutoff."
Buttheteachercried
Thesix-year-oldJohnwasterriblyspoiled.Hisfatherknewit,buthisgrandmadotedonhim.Hehardlyleftherside.Andwhenhewantedanything,heeithercriedorthrewatempertantrum.Thencamehisfirstdayofschool,hisfirstdayawayfromhisgrandmother'slovingarms.
Whenhecamehomefromschoolhisgrandmamethimatthedoor.
"Wasschoolallright?"sheasked,"Didyougetalongallright?didyoucry?"
"Cry?"Johnasked."No,Ididn'tcry,buttheteacherdid!"
Thedifferencebetweenmenandwomen
Jockwasdrivingupasteep,narrow,tortuous,Scottishmountainroad.Awomanwasdrivingdownthesameroadintheoppositedirection.
Astheypasseachotherthewomanleantoutthewindowandshouted:"PIG!!"
Jockimmediatelyleantouthiswindowandrepliedwith"BITCH!!"
Theyeachcontinueontheirway,butasJockroundedthenextcornerheranintoapiginthemiddleoftheroad....
TheClock
HillaryClintondiedandwenttoheaven.AsshestoodinfrontofSt.PeteratthePearlyGatesshesawahugewallofclocksbehindhim.
Sheasked,"Whatareallthoseclocks?"
StPeteranswered,"ThoseareLie-Clocks.EveryoneonEarthhasaLie-Clock.Everytimeyouliethehandsonyourclockwillmove."
"Oh,"saidHillary,"whoseclockisthat?"
"That'sMotherTheresa's.Thehandshavenevermovedindicatingthatshenevertoldalie."
"Whoseclockisthat?""That'sAbrahamLincoln'sclock.ThehandshaveonlymovedtwicetellingusthatAbeonlytold2liesinhisentirelife."
"WhereisBill'sclock?"Hillaryasked.
"Bill'sclockisinJesus'office.Heisusingitasaceilingfan."
OneEngineLeft
A747washalfwayacrosstheAtlanticwhenthecaptaingotontheloudspeaker,"Attention,passengers.Wehavelostoneofourengines,butwecancertainlyreachLondonwiththethreewehaveleft.Unfortunately,wewillarriveanhourlateasaresult."
Shortlythereafter,thepassengersheardthecaptain'svoiceagain,"Guesswhat,folks.Wejustlostourthirdengine,butpleasebeassuredwecanflywithonlyone.WewillnowarriveinLondonthreehourslate."
Atthispoint,onepassengerbecamefurious."ForPete'ssake,"heshouted,"Ifweloseanotherengine,we'llbeuphereallnight!"
InthemorningMr.Smithcomesintothegardenatthebackofhishouse.Heseesmuchsnow(雪)inthegarden.Mr.Smithwantstotakehiscarout,soheasksamantocleantheroadfromhisgarage(车库)tothegate(大门).Hesaystotheman,”Don'tthrowanysnowonthatside.Itwilldamage(损坏)flowersinthestreet,orthepolicemanwillcome.”Thenhegoesout.
Whenhecomesback,theroadisclean.Thereisnosnowontheflowers,onthewallorinthestreet.Butwhenheopenthegarage,heseesthegarageisfullofsnow(被雪充满),thesnowfromtheroad,andhiscarisunderthesnow!
AbeautifulyoungblondewomanboardsaplanetoLAwithaticketforthecoachsection.Shelooksattheseatsincoachandthenlooksaheadtothefirstclassseats.Seeingthatthefirstclassseatsappeartobemuchlargerandmorecomfortable,shemovesforwardtothelastemptyone.Theflightattendantchecksherticketandtellsthewomanthatherseatisincoach.
Theblondereplies,"I'myoung,blondeandbeautiful,andI'mgoingtosithereallthewaytoLA."
Flustered,theflightattendantgoestothecockpitandinformsthecaptainoftheblondeproblem.Thecaptaingoesbackandtellsthewomanthatherassignedseatisincoach.
Again,theblondereplies,"I'myoung,blondeandbeautiful,andI'mgoingtosithereallthewaytoLA."
Thecaptaindoesn'twanttocauseacommotion,andsoreturnstothecockpittodiscusstheblondewiththeco-pilot.Theco-pilotsaysthathehasablondegirlfriend,andthathecantakecareoftheproblem.Hethengoesbackandbrieflywhisperssomethingintotheblonde'sear.
Sheimmediatelygetsup,says,"Thankyousomuch,"hugstheco-pilot,andrushesbacktoherseatinthecoachsection.Thepilotandflightattendant,whowerewatchingwithraptattention,togetherasktheco-pilotwhathehadsaidtothewoman.
Hereplies,"Ijusttoldherthatthefirstclasssectionisn'tgoingtoLA."
英语幽默笑话：
一：SheDidn"tSayAnything
AmotherandsonwerewashingdisheswhilethefatheranddaughterwerewatchingTVintheroom.Suddenly,therewasacrashofbreakingdishes,thencompletesilence.
Thegirllookedatherfatherandsaid,“ItwasMom”。
“Howdoyouknow?”askedherfather.
“Shedidn"tsayanything.”
二：IHaveTurnedItOver
Awomansaidtoherhusband,“dear,lookatoursheet!It"stoodirty.Wouldyouliketowashitnow?”
Themanlookedatthesheetandthenthoughtforawhileandthensaid,“Idon"tthinkit"snecessary.Wecanturnthesheetover.Isthatallright?”
三、40overLilotusheartdiseasearisessuddenly,isescortedtothehospitalfirstaid.Theconditionextremelytoobad,theLilotusfeltoneselfnearlyallalreadydied.
Intherescue,theLilotushasheardGod'ssoundsuddenly:"Youcannotdie,youalsomaylivefor45years6months02days,hasthecouragetogoonliving!"
Certainly,theresultwastheLilotusmiracleisrevived.Afterthebodyrecovers,theLilotusthoughtoneselfalsocanliveformorethan40years,then□hasanxiouslyisleavingthehospital,firstrepairstheface,thenmakesupthelip,thenistheprosperouschest,finallyisthethinabdomen,continuouslyhasundergone4cosmetologysurgeriesaltogether,thenwascalledthespecializedhairstylisttovisittheservice,changedhassentthecolor,hasmadethenewtidehairstyle,theentirestaturelookedat□theyoungseveralyearsold.
Afterlastthereshapingsurgerycompletes,theLilotusthenhappilyhandledleftthehospitaltheprocedure,□thoughtactuallytheambulancewhichrapidly驶过by撞死intheentrance.
Aftertheheaven,theLilotushasbeenangryinterrogatesGod:"SinceyouhadsaidIalsomaylivefor45years,thenyoushouldnoteattheword."
Godawkwardly耸了耸肩,replies:"Reallyissorry,atthattime,thevehiclehitwhenyou......Ihavenotrecognizedamyou."
英语笑话这里面有的，可以看看：
http://www.sxuu.com/loveu/Article/english/yyxx/200508/22000.html
英语幽默
双关歇后语：）~
http://www.sxszjzx.com/~t207/wht_2.htm
Teacher:Whyareyoulateforschooleverymorning?
Tom:EverytimeIcometothecorner,asignsays,"School-Goslow".
老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着"学校----慢行".
DoYouKnowMyWork？
Onenightahotelcaughtfire，andthepeoplewhowerestayinginitranoutintheirnightclothes．
Twomenstoodoutsideandlookedatthefire．
“BeforeIcameout，”saidone，“Iranintosomeoftheroomsandfoundalotofmoney．Peopledon'tthinkofmoneywhenthey'reafraid．Whenanyoneleavespapermoneyinafire，thefireburnsit．SoItookallthebillsthatIcouldfind．NoonewillbepoorerbecauseItookthem．”
“Youdon'tknowmywork，”saidtheother．
“Whatisyourwork？”
“I'mapoliceman．
“Oh！”criedthefirstman．Hethoughtquicklyandsaid，“Anddoyouknowmywork？”“No，”saidthepoliceman．
“I'mawriter．I'malwaystellingstoriesaboutthingsthatneverhappened．”
译文：（自己简单翻译）
你知道我是干什么的吗？
一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡衣就跑了出来。
两个人站在外面，看着大火。
“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。”
“你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。
“你是干什么的？”
“我是警察。”
“噢！”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的？”“不知道。”警察说。
“我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”
Whoisthelaziest
Father:Well,Jack,Italkedwithyourteachertoday.AndnowIwanttoaskyouaquestion,Whoisthelaziestpersoninyourclass?
Jack:Idon`tknow,father.
Father:Oh,think!Whenotherboysandgirlsarereadingandwirting,whositsquietlyandonlywatchhowotherpeopleword?
Jack:Ourteacher,father.
更多的请点击参考资料链接。
谢谢！
求几个 英语哲理或者幽默的 小故事
The
Rain
A
small
boy
and
his
father
were
having
a
walk
in
the
country
when
it
suddenly
began
to
rain
very
hard．
They
did
not
have
their
umbrella
with
them，
and
there
was
nowhere
to
hide
from
the
rain，
so
they
were
soon
very
wet，
and
the
small
boy
did
not
feel
very
happy．
For
a
long
time
while
they
were
walking
home
through
the
rain，
the
boy
was
thinking．
Then
at
last
he
turned
to
his
father
and
said
to
him，“Why
does
it
rain，
Father？
It
isn't
very
nice，
is
it？”
“No，
it
isn't
very
nice，
but
it's
very
useful，Tom，”answered
his
father．“It
rains
to
make
the
fruit
and
the
vegetables
grow
for
us，
and
to
make
the
grass
grow
for
the
cows
and
sheep．”
Tom
thought
about
this
for
a
few
seconds，
and
then
he
said，“Then，why
does
it
rain
on
the
road
too，
Father？”
下雨
一个小男孩和他的父亲正在乡间行走，突然下起...
The
Rain
A
small
boy
and
his
father
were
having
a
walk
in
the
country
when
it
suddenly
began
to
rain
very
hard．
They
did
not
have
their
umbrella
with
them，
and
there
was
nowhere
to
hide
from
the
rain，
so
they
were
soon
very
wet，
and
the
small
boy
did
not
feel
very
happy．
For
a
long
time
while
they
were
walking
home
through
the
rain，
the
boy
was
thinking．
Then
at
last
he
turned
to
his
father
and
said
to
him，“Why
does
it
rain，
Father？
It
isn't
very
nice，
is
it？”
“No，
it
isn't
very
nice，
but
it's
very
useful，Tom，”answered
his
father．“It
rains
to
make
the
fruit
and
the
vegetables
grow
for
us，
and
to
make
the
grass
grow
for
the
cows
and
sheep．”
Tom
thought
about
this
for
a
few
seconds，
and
then
he
said，“Then，why
does
it
rain
on
the
road
too，
Father？”
下雨
一个小男孩和他的父亲正在乡间行走，突然下起了大雨。
他们没带伞，加上四下无处可以躲雨，所以很快他们浑身上下被淋湿了，小男孩感到很不好受。
他们在雨中朝家走去，有好一会儿，那个男孩一直在思索着什么。后来终于他朝父亲转过脸去，问他说：“爸爸，为什么天会下雨呢？下雨可不太好，是吧？”
“是呀，下雨是不太好，可是下雨也有很多有益的地方，汤姆。”父亲回答说。“老天爷下雨促使了为我们所食用的水果和蔬菜的生长，同样也促使牛羊所吃的青草的生长。”
汤姆对父亲的这番话想了一会，然后说：“那么，父亲，老天爷为什么还要把雨下在路上呢？”
展开
英语幽默哲理小故事的介绍就聊到这里吧，感谢你花时间阅读本站内容，更多关于英语幽默哲理小故事大全、英语幽默哲理小故事的信息别忘了在本站进行查找哦。
- 最近发表